God's Plan
“Do yourself a favor and decide right now, what you want. Do not give attention to ANY other outcome. You’re sending the universe mixed signals and then getting mad when your reality is a mess. You created that. It’s okay though. If you just make a decision, the universe can deliver” – Unknown
#ISSANEWYEAR
Since I never got to tell you guys before .. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope these last 54 days have been nothing short of amazing yet challenging and insightful for you because Lord knows they have been for me. I missed speaking with you all so much and pray that within this new year your territory is enlarged and that the Guided Millennial becomes everything you need and more.
For those who did not know, I took a break from writing as I participated in the 40 days of praying and fasting that my church does annually. To improve on my relationship with God, I sacrificed some things He placed on my heart: certain tv shows, blogging and giving out advice. In just those 40 days, He gave me specific scriptures to read, specific words that would describe the season I was getting ready to embark in or currently going through, a stronger sense of His Holy Spirit, a closer insight to the inner workings of myself and He helped me tackle one of the biggest things I always struggled with: Me. My goal for 2018 is to get out of my own way. Before I hinder anymore of my blessings, block anymore of God’s communication, make any of my situations more complicated and place anymore doubt or uncertainty into unknown territories, I made the conscious decision to move. Let him take over the wheel, place myself in the back seat and not ask any questions unless I REALLY had to. I wanted to shut up and open the airways to hear His instructions and boy did it work.
What are your goals for the year of 2018? What have you learned in the last 54 days?
Have you ever really sat back and thought about how far God has brought you? Reflected on where you used to be around a certain time, what you usually would have been doing and the changes emotionally, spiritually, physically or even mentally? That’s honestly what 2018 has brought me so far as I have strategically planned to really surrender to God and all that He wants for me.
One thing I’ve noticed is that everytime I’m in a shift or a different space, I can always find a song for the season that I’m in. There have been a lot of songs and albums that have inspired and uplifted me but You Waited by Travis Greene has touched my soul. The song speaks of how patient, forgiving and loving God truly is
You called out my name
Knew my past, covered my shame
This amazing grace
You’ve shown, so patientlyAnd You, waited for me
Just for me
Imagine someone telling you that they’re on their way in the next 5 minutes. You wait for 10 minutes (because you know CP time is real) but then the 10 minutes turn to 20 minutes. Which then turns into an hour.
Now you’re waiting.
Waiting for someone to show up like they promised. Waiting for someone to be there for you like they told you they would. Waiting for someone to reach out like you expected. Waiting for someone to blossom into the potential that you imagined for them without any evidence. Waiting for someone to become the person that you thought you fell in love with. Waiting for the answers to come to a situation that you felt was confusing and unclear.
Your pattern of waiting on others turns into you questioning your ability to trust them to keep their word but even worse .. question your judgement on the people that you keep around or “wait” for.
Which turns into you settling and being disappointed every time.
Can you imagine the way God must feel?
He constantly has someone in his ear (the devil) telling Him that his children aren’t going to show up so He should just give up. That we only love Him for the gifts and the blessings He bestows upon us and the longer we take to show up, the devil thinks that he is 100% correct. I would too looking at the evidence that we sometimes display and our track record of not following up with what we say.
“She’s coming. I know she is”. I couldn’t imagine the sadness for the times that I didn’t show up. He left the doors wide open and some unlocked just to make it all easier but I still never showed up.
No matter how many times I told God “I’m on the way” but never showed up. “I’ll do better next time” but I get worse. “Give me one more chance” which turns into me asking for 40 more in the next week. “Groom me into the person that you want me to become” but I continue to do things that are displeasing. “Lead, guide and direct me” but I feel He’s taking too long so I figure things out on my own. No matter what I did He STILL waited for me. Waited for me to show up. Waited for me to see who I was in Him. Waited for me to tap into the plan He had so that not only I, but the people around me could be mind blown. Knowing my past, knowing how long I would take, knowing the excuses and mistakes I would make. Knowing ALL about me He STILL loved me first. Isn’t that amazing? I’m making sure I show up BEFORE anyone expects me to. Receiving my consultation before the situation. Combined preparation before the storm. They say show up 10-15 minutes before your appointment .. God I’m there 1 hour before and taking advantage of all of your walk-in times. Some days I maybe late, might even be running in looking disheveled but I’m on the way and I don’t want you to wait on me any longer.
Now don’t get me wrong, you cannot have this mindset of “well God knows my heart. Ajai said He’s waiting for me so I’m going to take my time” NO MA’AM/NO SIR. It is your best bet everyday to grow closer to Him because no man knows the day nor the hour. I’m just speaking on how undeserving we are to have someone wait on us. To wait for us to grow the courage to give our life over to Him, to grow the strength to push past our fleshly responses and tap into His spirit, to still give us love, peace, grace, mercy and forgiveness though we still counteract it daily. Imagine if we showed up when WE wanted to and when we arrived His secretary said that He already left for the day. Most of you would be so upset! “He was constantly calling me and reaching out and now when I show up He’s gone.”, “How could He leave and not say anything?”. Blaming Him when in reality it was all your fault.
Do you have any idea of how painful it must be to watch someone you love live a life full of destruction? You’re lending a helping hand but they’re like “no thanks bruh, I got it”. I would have left my self-sufficient behind a LONG, and I mean A LONG TIME AGO. That just goes to show how God is not like man whatsoever and I am so thankful of that everyday. He’s still waiting no matter how many times H knows you aren’t coming. He’s waiting for the day you change your mind.
Where would I be .. If you left me God.
Where would you be?
Who would you be?
I have dedicated my life to not even trying to live out that possibility. 2018 is the year of me being so wrapped up in God, the year of planning realistic goals for myself and achieving something daily, growing in every aspect and direction possible and glowing so much that people see the Holy Spirit before they even notice me. I pray that you have set some goals for yourself and have already begun to put them into motion.
Cheers to 2018!
