Dig a Little Deeper
Before I begin I have a few requests:
Sit down. Whether it’s on the couch, in your bed or in your car
Take a deep breathe
Open your mind and don’t let it close until we’re finished. I have some questions to ask and we as humans love running from our own truths
Find a piece of paper and a writing utensil. No this is not homework and you do not have to answer every question but I encourage you to challenge yourself to answer the tough ones
Everyone ready? Okay here we go
Have you ever found yourself stuck when it comes to describing you? Not the things you want to work on but all the good stuff that makes you “you”. It’s so easy for us to complain and vent about what’s wrong but freeze up when someone asks something that we never thought about (but usually something we should have). Yeah, I had an old friend like that and she taught me just how important it is to dig deeper and the importance of knowing your own story.
See Stephanie had a foundation full of pain. She had issues with guys from her past, her family relied on her for everything yet treated her like she wasn’t good enough, she tried but never seemed to succeed at school and whenever she thought she took 2 steps forward life pushed her 10 steps back. It seemed like she attracted destruction but with the help of our conversations I realized she was living comfortably in darkness and allowed it to dictate how she viewed everything else.
I always had to endure her rants that were full of negativity and those who know me know I am far from that. I like to see the positive in everything and she was bringing Hades to a Hercules party! Soon enough I realized that she never talked about success, accomplishments, personal joys not even rainbows or fairy dust. One day I asked her one simple question: what makes you happy?! And at that moment for the first time she was speechless and I was shook. I started throwing out so many questions like “what’s your favorite movie?”, “what are you afraid of?”, “what makes you smile?” etc. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone may not know the answers to these but she couldn’t answer ANY. I was confused as to how someone could give pain so much control over their life to where they found joy in nothing. I had to understand that when you have the unwanted responsibility of taking care of others, accompanied with being surrounded by constant misfortune, your only language is negativity because that’s really all you know. You don’t have time to think of anything else and until that moment life never allowed her to.
A lot of people I know have a tough background story. They don’t have the time to heal or dwell on situations because life doesn’t wait for that. Bills must be paid, papers must be turned in and people must move forward but I always wondered why everyone is so stuck in their issues. Why settle in all that trouble where there seemed to be no light, no progress, no peace, no happiness, no nothing? I had to slap my “privileged self” in the face to remember that nothing is that easy. Uncovering your identity means facing those tough personal questions and answering what society deems as the easy ones while maintaining this painted smile.
Though life doesn’t GIVE you the time, it is time to MAKE time.
Take your power back and don’t allow life’s circumstances to dictate how you see yourself or your progress. We want to be loved by people and get to know them but won’t get to know ourselves. You can’t teach anyone to love you or make you happy when you don’t even know how to do those things. I challenge you, the reader, to get to know you just a little bit more. Take 30 min-1 hour with just you; no phone or television and if you want, turn on some good soothing music. I urge you to spend some alone time with yourself and God and allow these questions to heal some small matters that can lead to revelations for big ones. Your story doesn’t have to be focused on the ugly of all those should’ve, could’ve, would’ves or those failed mistakes but get to know the good side of you. It deserves to be loved upon sometimes because you are so much more than your mistakes. Reach out and let me know how it goes!
What do you do for fun?
How do you unwind or relax from stressful situations?
What is your favorite book?
What is something that you have always wanted to do? Why haven’t you done it yet?
What does vulnerability mean to you? What/Who has the ability to make you vulnerable?
How do you express love to others?
What is your favorite non-physical attribute about yourself?
What does family mean to you?
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
How do you handle disappointment?
How often do you appreciate or praise yourself for your progress/success?
What are 3 goals you have for 2017?
What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?
What’s one thing that’s happened to you that made you feel weak?
Are you a people pleaser? How often do you put others before yourself?
Do you believe in a higher being?
Who/what is the one thing/person you go to for comfort? To depend on?
Are you an avid planner?
How often do the people around you say they love you or are proud of you?
Do you often take responsibility for your actions or do you play the victim?
What have you recently discovered about yourself?
List three things that has gone really well this year – what are you most proud of?
Is there anything that has happened to you that needs to be forgiven? Where can you give the gift of forgiveness, either to yourself or to others?
What area of your life do you most want to develop?
Fast forward to December 2017, Where do you want to be:
In your head? (work, dreams, goals)
In your heart? (relationships, family, friends)
In your soul? (beliefs, practices, self-love)
In your physical world? (home, health, hobbies)
Were any questions difficult to answer? Were some really easy? Was there any question that you’ve never thought about before until now? I also challenge everyone to ask the people in their circle these same questions as well as asking how they would describe you to others.
Until next time <3